Rules of Dogdom

Some of the rules of dogdom include:

If there are ten rawhide chew chips on the floor only one of them is the right one to chew on for any dog in the vicinity.

The favored chew chip is subject to being stolen and then stolen back.

The favored chew chip changes daily.

Non-favored chew chips are ignored and may be harvested by the Dog Mom for reuse on following days.

A favored hiding place for chew chips is under Dog Mom’s pillow.

Squeaky toys are prized above non-squeaky toys.

Squeaky toys are to be desqueaked as soon as possible, then discarded for toys that can be mined for a squeaker.

The object of stuffed toys is disembowelment.

There is an infinite amount of white stuffing available in any disemboweled toy, in contravention of the laws of physics.

The smaller the disemboweled toy the more stuffing is available as they are magical bags of holding.

If the human tries to play tug of war with one dog, both dogs are required to participate, leaving the human with no tug partner.

All things must be fair and equal, except for those things which are unfair and unequal, in which case it is up to a barking contest to settle the dispute.

 

Advertisements
Rules of Dogdom

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s